You know, occasionally, you’re going to hear a funny cricket story, like the famous “Lillee caught Willey bowled Dilley” dismissal, or Brian Johnston’s glorious commentary: “The bowler’s Holding; the batsman’s Willey.” Following John Lees’ mention of England openers Salt and Pepper (C8), you’re really, really going to want to bring one or both of these items up. Please don’t.
And with that, here’s Mick Miller of Ettalong Beach who recalls that “in the ’80s, the New Zealand cricket team had openers Reid and Wright”, while Don Bain of Port Macquarie thinks, “Were the cricketing gods in matchmaking mood, they might’ve paired Kiwi paceman Kyle Mills with the record-holder for most bevvies consumed on a long-haul team flight, our own David Boon.”
Elaine Barnett of Mosman takes us back to the Bodyline series of 1932-33 and says there was “much media mirth when my dad, Len Darling, was accidentally run out in the Australian second innings by batting partner Hammy Love in Hammy’s one and only Test match. The newspaper headline read: ‘Love runs his Darling out’.”
Mary Carde of Parrearra (Qld) has further advice on tomato commingling (C8). “When I was growing up, the choice was to grow either red or green (unripened and great for green tomato pickles). Today, the options are endless, including either black Russian or red Russian. Should you choose either, maybe avoid adding the atomic grape variety as this could have the Maralinga effect, replacing the golden sunrise with the atomic sunset, causing Gondwana lightning and possibly a complete cosmic eclipse. Sadly, the kookaburra cackle would reverberate no more. The mortgage lifter may be your best option.”
“As she seems to be a recent topic of conversation in Column 8, I must say that I’ve always thought Granny looks like a cross between Hannibal Lecter and a sheep,” offers Caroline Chantrill of Port Macquarie. “I hope I haven’t hurt Granny’s feelings.”
“Yesterday, I was in a branch of a bakery chain and noticed mini-Christmas cakes for sale,” writes Frank McGrath of Bulli. “No surprise there these days, but the ‘best before’ date was 13/11/2024! Now that takes the cake.”
Sorry, Christine Tracey (C8), but there’s a reason the PM’s bow tie looks “thrown on”. Robert Hosking of Paddington explains: “Bow tie etiquette demands that a self-tied bow tie must not be perfect. Otherwise, it can be mistaken for one of those nasty clip-ons.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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